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42 Best Funny Graduation Quotes

Andy by Andy
August 23, 2021
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42 Best Funny Graduation Quotes
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Smile, graduate! Yes, you! It’s finally here. Your graduation day. As soon as you start getting used to being called a graduate, you’ll immediately discover that “post-grad” has a nice ring to it. Graduation day serves as a milestone for many of us. As we venture into an unknown future, allow these words of wisdom to comfort you and bring you joy through laughter. Comedians, scholars and actors alike share words of advice applicable to graduation day and beyond. If you’re wondering, “what’s next?” You are not alone, Class of 2021. Many students will be figuring out their next move following graduation — and these funny graduation quotes speak to that!

Graduating during a public health crisis should not be considered a small feat. You likely had your own obstacles to tackle this year. Without a doubt, you have conquered mountains as part of the Class of 2021. If you’re seeking guidance in your life, career and/or relationships, you might be encouraged to go boldly into the future after reading these funny quotes from Hollywood stars to historical figures. Take a minute and exhale. You are a graduate now and may do a victory lap. Your friends and family might even do a lap with you! While you’re at it, check out our favorite inspirational graduation quotes, the best graduation songs and graduation cap ideas too!

1 of 42

Jon Stewart

The unfortunate, yet truly exciting thing about your life, is that there is no core curriculum. The entire place is an elective.

2 of 42

Frank A. Clark

If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn’t lead anywhere.

3 of 42

John Green

Every year, many, many stupid people graduate from college. And if they can do it, so can you.

4 of 42

Andy Sorkin

You’re going to fall down, but the world doesn’t care how many times you fall down, as long as it’s one fewer than the numbers of times you get back up.

5 of 42

Neil Gaiman

Be wise, because the world needs wisdom. If you cannot be wise, pretend to be someone who is wise, and then just behave like they would.

6 of 42

Andy Samberg

You are graduating from college. That means that this is the first day of the last day of your life. No, that’s wrong. This is the last day of the first day of school. Nope, that’s worse. This is a day.

7 of 42

Gary Trudeau

Commencement speeches were invented largely in the belief that outgoing college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated.

8 of 42

Lin-Manuel Miranda

My dear terrified graduates, you are about to enter the most uncertain and thrilling period of your lives.

9 of 42

Russell Baker

The best advice I can give anybody about going out into the world is this: Don’t do it. I have been out there. It is a mess.

10 of 42

Mark Twain

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

11 of 42

Napoleon Hill 

Big pay and little responsibility are circumstances seldom found together.

12 of 42

Unknown

When they hand you your diploma, keep moving. Just in case they try to take it back.

13 of 42

Ellen DeGeneres

Follow your passion, stay true to yourself, never follow someone else’s path unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path then by all means you should follow that.

14 of 42

Unknown

Graduation: A ritual event where they award you a diploma, in the hope that you have learned enough to be able to read it.

15 of 42

Art Buchwald

I could have said something profound, but you would have forgotten it in 15 minutes – which is the afterlife of a graduation speech.

16 of 42

Will Rogers

The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.

17 of 42

Gloria Davidson

Struggling to decide what to do after graduation is, and always will be, a sort of rite of passage to the next phase of your life.

18 of 42

Unknown

The richer you get, the more expensive happiness becomes.

19 of 42

Jonathan Winters

I couldn’t wait for success. I went ahead without it.

20 of 42

Ron Swanson

Well, I’m not usually one for speeches. So, goodbye.

21 of 42

William Lyon Phelps

If at first you don’t succeed, find out if the loser gets anything.

22 of 42

Unknown

I can’t wait to hear your name horribly mispronounced at the graduation ceremony.

23 of 42

Unknown

Congratulations on getting through the easiest part of life.

24 of 42

Ed Helms

So long as your desire to explore is greater than your desire to not screw up, you’re on the right track.

25 of 42

Ralph Waldo Emerson

A man of genius is privileged only as far as he is genius. His dullness is as insupportable as any other dullness.

26 of 42

Unknown

Experience is the only school from which no one graduates.

27 of 42

Unknown

You know that point at your graduation ceremony where everyone tosses up their caps? Isn’t it great that we all celebrate how smart we are by throwing sharp pointy objects in the air?

28 of 42

Ann Landers

The Lord gave us two ends: One to sit on and the other to think with. Success depends on which one we use the most.

29 of 42

Will Ferrell

As you set off into the world, don’t be afraid to question your leaders. But don’t ask too many questions at one time or that are too hard because your leaders get tired and/or cranky.

30 of 42

Jerry Zucker

It doesn’t matter that your dream came true if you spent your whole life sleeping.

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Selena Barrientos
Associate Entertainment and News Editor
Selena Barrientos is the associate entertainment and news editor for Good Housekeeping — she writes and reports on the latest shows and movies, in addition to spotlighting Latinx celebrities.

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