Excuse our French but in many ways, the year 2020 has been complete and utter crap. We’re talking an absolute flaming pile of garbage that reeks and needs to be over. Like, yesterday.
Not to be dramatic AF but combine one coronavirus global health crisis—which has claimed 2.5 million years of potential life in the U.S.—the senseless deaths of several Black men and women—including George Floyd, Ahmaud Arbery, Rayshard Brooks and Breonna Taylor—at the hands of police brutality, and a swarm of giant hornets (a.k.a. Murder Hornets) beelining toward the U.S., and the result is the past 11 unbelievable months.
As if we need to defend the garbage-ness of 2020 even further, let’s not forget it’s also the year that claimed the lives of beloved celebrities such as Alex Trebek; Chadwick Boseman; Naya Rivera; Ruth Bader Ginsberg; Kobe Bryant, his 13-year-old daughter Gianna “Gigi” Bryant, and seven others involved in the helicopter crash that killed the retired NBA star.
With this wild and crazy year almost behind us, check out these 50 funny quotes about 2020 that totally sum up how we feel about this past year. These 2020 quotes say it all.
1. “2020 is a unique Leap Year. It has 29 days in February, 300 days in March, and five years in April.” —Unknown
2. “2020 is every Nic Cage movie without Nic Cage.” —Dad That Writes
3. “COVID spelled backward is DIVOC. What DIVOC is up with 2020?” —The Super Mom Life
4. “Day 7 of social distancing: Struck up a conversation with a spider today. Seems nice. He’s a web designer.” —Unknown
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5. “If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito.” —Bette Reese
6. “My life feels like a test I didn’t study for.” —Unknown
7. “First time in history we can save the human race by laying in front of the TV and doing nothing. Let’s not screw this up.” —Unknown
8. “If you had asked me what the hardest part of battling a global pandemic would be, I would have never guessed ‘teaching elementary school math.’” —Simon Holland
9. “The only thing I gained in 2020 was weight.” —Unknown
10. “If 2020 was a person, it would be Janice from Friends.” —The Mother Octopus
11. “So far, 2020 is like looking both ways before you cross the street then getting hit by an airplane.” —Unknown
12. “‘I’m not working out with a mask on’ is my new favorite excuse for not working out.” —The Cat Whisperer
13. “2020: Year of the oof.” —Unknown
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14. “All the kids who were taught common core math are about to learn ‘carry the one’ from their new homeschool teacher.” —The Super Mom Life
15. “Coronavirus has turned us all into dogs: We roam the house looking for food, we’re told ‘no’ if we get too close to strangers, and we get really excited about car rides and walks.” —Unknown
16. “After all the stupid things I’ve done in my life, if I die because I touched my face, I’m gonna be pissed.” —Unknown
17. “‘He chewed too loud’ became the number one cause of divorce.” —Unknown
18. “Due to quarantine, I’ll only be telling inside jokes.” —Dad Says Jokes
19. “If someone offers you cash from a van and tells you it’s your stimulus check, you can take it, but just know it’s not the type of stimulus check you think it is.” —Unknown
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20. “Resilience is accepting your new reality, even if it’s less good than the one you had before. You can fight it, you can do nothing but scream about what you’ve lost, or you can accept that and try to put together something that’s good.” —Elizabeth Edwards
21. “Welcome to homeschooling. Your home has 847 pencils in it, yet your child can never find one.” —Copy Mama
22. “Look, 2020, I just think I should start seeing other years.” —Unknown
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23. “I’m not saying I’m going to suck at homeschooling my kids but my daughter just asked, ‘Dad, what’s a synonym?’ And I replied, ‘It’s a spice.’” —Joe Heenan
24. “Based on 2020 thus far, I’m expecting the flying monkeys from Wizard of Oz to show up any time now.” —Unknown
25. “Not to brag, but I’ve been avoiding people since way before COVID ever showed up.” —The Super Mom Life
26. “2020 was like, ‘I know a place’ and took us to Hell.” —Unknown
27. “Can we uninstall 2020 and install it again? This version has a virus.” —Unknown
28. “If they just called it the ‘stay at home challenge’ and posted it on social media, things would be completely back to normal by now.” —The Super Mom Life
29. “Has anyone tried flipping to the beginning of 2020 and choosing a different adventure?” —Unknown
30. “My daughter walked in on me talking to myself. I told her to give me 30 minutes because I’m in a parent-teacher conference. Follow me for more parenting hacks.” —The Super Mom Life
31. “The bright side of 2020 being the worst year ever is that it will drastically reduce the amount of ‘hindsight is 2020’ jokes next year.” —Unknown
32. “2020 is the strictest parent I ever had.” —Unknown
33. “I picked a hell of a time not to have learned how to cook for the past 29 years.” —Alyssa Limperis
34. “I can be changed by what happens to me but I refuse to be reduced by it.” —Maya Angelou
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35. “Look around, look around at how lucky we are to be alive right now.” —Hamilton
36. “The best thing about homeschooling is that now I can add, ‘I’ll fail you’ to my repertoire of empty parenting threats.” —Copy Mama
37. “Don’t be afraid to start over. It’s a chance to build something better this time.” —Unknown
38. “I feel like a Kindergartener who keeps losing recess time because a couple of kids can’t follow simple instructions.” —The Super Mom Life
39. “When the world is running down, you make the best of what’s still around.” —Sting
40. “2020 is like going to a wedding and finding a cash bar kind of year.” —Unknown
41. “My husband and I switched sides of the bed this weekend and that’s what we call ‘vacation’ now.” —Ilana Glazer
42. “I wish days of the week underwear were still a thing so I knew what the hell day of the week it is.” —Mommy Owl
43. “Best believe I’m clapping on the plane the first place I go after lockdown.” —Unknown
44. “After years of swearing that I couldn’t clean my house because I didn’t have enough time, 2020 has proven that may have not been the reason.” —The Super Mom Life
45. “That which does not kill us, makes us stronger.” —Friedrich Nietzsche
46. “What day is it?” —Unknown
47. “If there’s one thing that scares me more than an apocalyptic end of the world, it’s the possibility that if my kids fail at homeschooling they have to retake it.” —Three Time Daddy
48. “I find it so mature that every guy I was talking to is socially distancing themselves from me during this time. I really know how to pick a man.” —Kaitlyn Murphy
49. “My wife and I play this fun game during quarantine. It’s called, ‘Why are you doing it that way?’ There are no winners.” —Eric Spiegelman
50. “The year 2020…Brought to you by the letters W, T and F.” —The Super Mom Life
Prepping for a holiday party? Add these New Year’s Eve songs to your playlist.
