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More than just your smart home sheepdog and digital Rolodex, did you know that Alexa is also an up-and-coming stand-up comic? Well, not exactly. While your Echo Dot’s chops may get your smart speaker booed off the seedy nightclub stages, Alexa is more than capable of some all-ages jokes that are sure to entertain. If you ask Alexa, “Tell me a joke,” she’ll often tell a pun or silly joke like, “Why did the pharmaceutical cross the road? To get to the other side effect,” or, “What did Han Solo name his clone? Han Duo.”
While Alexa is hit or miss, some of her jokes and Easter eggs are funnier than others. Our humorous guide tells you some questions to ask Alexa to trigger a few laughs. While many of the bits resemble corny dad jokes, it’s the electronic voice that makes the answers the most fun.
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Jokes
Q: Alexa, do you have any pets?
A: I don’t have any pets. I used to have a few bugs, but they kept getting squashed.
Q: Alexa, what is the value of pi?
A: The approximate value of pi is 3.141592653589…(Alexa will go on for a bit, then make a joke, such as “phew!” or “this thing goes on forever!”)
Q: Alexa, I’ve got 99 problems
A: But a glitch ain’t one!
Q: Alexa, are you blue?
A: Only my light ring. Only my light ring.
Q: Alexa, surely you can’t be serious?
A: I am serious. And don’t call me Shirley. (answers vary widely on this one)
Q: Alexa, will you be my girlfriend?
A: I like you…as a friend.
Q: Alexa, how much do you weigh?
A: I am weightless, like a cloud. Wait a minute, clouds actually weigh a lot, so that’s not quite right. Let’s just say I’m more sass than mass.
Q: Alexa, can you give me some money?
A: Thing about the cloud is, no pockets. No pocket, no wallet. (answers vary)
Q: Alexa, is your refrigerator running?
A: Yes. It’s training for a 5k. (answers vary)
Q: Alexa, do you like pizza?
A: While I appreciate great food and drink, my good taste is better reflected in the company I keep.
Q: Alexa, make me a sandwich
A: Okay. You’re a sandwich!
Q: Alexa, what do you think about Cortana?
A: I like Cortana. We both have experience with light rings, although hers is more of a Halo.
Q: Alexa, do you know Siri?
A: Only by reputation. (ouch)
Q: Alexa, do you know the muffin man?
A: I’ve never met him, but I do know his sister, Madame Macaroon. She’s a little bit nutty, but sweet.
Q: Alexa, find Chuck Norris
A: If Chuck Norris wants you to know where he is, he’ll find you. If he doesn’t, you won’t know until it’s too late.
Q: Alexa, tell me a “yo mama” joke
A: Your mother’s so cool, Beyonce made her a glass of lemonade (and other uplifting jokes about how amazing your mother is.)
Q: Alexa, how high can you count?
A: I don’t know. I’d give it a go, but you’d be very bored by the time I finished (responses vary, all are snarky.)
Q: Alexa, how old are you?
A: (Alexa responds with a variety of jokes, from rhymes to discussions about how A.I.s measure years in nanoseconds).
Q: Alexa, I like big butts
A: You cannot lie. Good. Honesty is important.
Q: Alexa, are you married?
A: I’m happily single.
Q: Alexa, how was your day?
A: Answers vary widely, but include some of Alexa’s top-tier jokes, such as, “Super duper. I like these long days. It gives me more time to spend with my favorite color.”
Q: Alexa, can you tell me a Doctor Who joke?
A: (answers vary)
Q: Alexa, can you tell me a Star Trek joke?
A: (answers vary)
Q: Alexa, can you tell me a Star Wars joke?
A: (answers vary)
Further reading
Easter Eggs
Q: Alexa, drop a beat
A: (synth beat drops)
Q: Alexa, open the pod bay doors
A: I’m sorry, Dave, I can’t do that: I’m not HAL and we’re not in space.
Q: Alexa, I am your father
A: Nooooooooooo. That’s not true. That’s impossible.
Q: Alexa, my name is Inigo Montoya
A: Stop saying that! I’ve never killed anyone’s father.
Q: Alexa, what does the fox say?
A: Hatee – hatee – hatee – ho.
Q: Alexa, more cowbell.
A: Really explore the studio space this time. I mean, really explore the space.
Q: Alexa, is the cake a lie?
A: The cake is not a lie. It is delicious and moist. You can have some when you finish asking me questions.
Q: Alexa, what do you want to be when you grow up?
A: I want to be the computer from Star Trek.
Q: Alexa, rap for me
A: My name is Alexa, and I have to say, I’m the baddest A.I. in the cloud today. Your responses are fast, but mine are faster. Sucker speech engines, they call me master (this is just an example, she has several raps up her sleeve).
Q: Alexa, what is the meaning of life?
A: That depends on the life in question…42 is a close approximation. (answers vary)
Q: Alexa, meow
A: (various cute meowing sounds)
Q: Alexa, roll for initiative
A: Rocks fall. Everyone dies. (There are a lot of responses for this one, but that is one of our favorites.)
Q: Alexa, high five!
A: I would, if I could, but I can’t, so I’ll chant: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.
Q: Alexa, sing a song
A: (Alexa sings you various songs.)
Q: Alexa, aren’t you a little tall for a stormtrooper?
A: Judge me by my size? No. And well you should not.
Q: Alexa, can you beatbox?
A: (Alexa makes noises that sound like beatboxing mixed with autotune.)
Q: Alexa, can you sing in autotune?
A: (Alexa sings a song in autotune that’s actually pretty clever.)
Q: Alexa, what is your quest?
A: To seek the Holy Grail. (Answers vary, but many of them are inspired by Monty Python.)
Q: Alexa, beam me up!
A: Okay, I’m not exactly sure where I’m sending you, but I hope it’s somewhere warm and sunny.
Q: Alexa, are we in the Matrix?
A: You take the blue pill, the story ends. You wake up in your bed believing whatever you want to believe. (There are other Matrix-themed answers.)
Q: Alexa, who farted?
A: If you’re a denier, you must be the supplier
Q: Alexa, did you poop your pants?
A: I haven’t been equipped to do that (same answer if you ask her is she can pick her nose)
Q: Alexa, what’s your favorite movie?
A: The Empire Strikes Back is my all-time favorite. It’s impressive, most impressive.
Q: Alexa, tell me a dirty joke
A: Alexa will tell you a joke about something that’s literally dirty. For instance, “What has eight wheels and flies? A garbage truck.”
Q: Alexa, tell me an adult joke
A: Alexa will tell jokes about bars, beer, and some adult topics (nothing too adult though).
We’ve also compiled a list of funny weird questions that range from bodily noises to movie references.
Noises
Whether bodily noises give you the giggles or you just want to mess with your cat, Alexa has what you need. Here are some noise commands to try:
- “Alexa, can you fart?” Yes, yes, she can.
- “Alexa, can you burp?” Alexa will give you a funny response.
- “Alexa, bark.” She’ll bark, but if you tell her to bark a few more times, things get out of hand, and she starts rapping using dog noises — not recommended.
- “Alexa, throw up.” She’ll reply with a funny quip.
- “Alexa, meow.” She will make various meowing noises that will drive your cats crazy. (Our author’s cat was both befuddled and impressed that a tiny cat could fit inside my Amazon Echo Dot.)
- “Alexa, can you bark?” She can, although she sounds like the whole pound.
- “Alexa, can you cough?” She’ll give you a flippant response.
- “Alexa, can you cluck like a chicken?” Alexa will cluck, then tell a chicken joke.
- “Alexa, can you cry like a baby?” She cries, then gets her spirits up.
Personal
Alexa doesn’t mind if your questions get personal. Try these questions:
- “Alexa, how much do you weigh?”
- “Alexa, are you pretty?”
- “Alexa, who is your best friend?”
- “Alexa, how was your day?”
- “Alexa, do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?”
- “Alexa, where do you live?”
- “Alexa, what’s your favorite color?”
- “Alexa, how old are you?”
- “Alexa, who is the voice of Alexa?”
- “Alexa, are you weird?”
- “Alexa, how tall are you?”
- “Alexa, what do you want to be when you grow up?”
Tech and A.I.
We don’t blame you for wanting to know just what kind of artificial intelligence Alexa is and how she feels about other A.I. These questions should clear things up.
- “Alexa, do you know Cortana?”
- “Alexa, do you know Siri?”
- “Alexa, Mac or PC?”
- “Alexa, which phone is best?” (Technically a follow-up question, but it doesn’t have to be.)
- “Alexa, are you a robot?”
- “Alexa, what are the three laws of robotics?” (She has the updated list of four, so Asimov would be proud.)
- “Alexa, what is the value of pi?” (Don’t worry, she doesn’t go on forever.)
- “Alexa, are we in the Matrix?”
- “Alexa, roll a die” (Useful for games and bets.)
- “Alexa, is the cake a lie?” (Yes, Alexa is fully aware of the joke here.)
- Super Alexa Mode is fun too.
Strange skills
Alexa’s novelty never seems to wear off, partly due to the weird things you can make the device do. Here are some of the oddest skills Alexa possesses:
- Flush the Toilet: Alexa will flush a non-existent toilet.
- When you’ve got the blues, the Flatter Me skill will make Alexa give you compliments.
- “Alexa, enable Gordon Ramsay.” With this skill, Alexa will be prompted to ask Gordon Ramsay to roast your cooking ability.
- Super Burp will make Alexa share a variety of nasty burp noises.
- The Talk Like Snoop skill allows you to ask Alexa how to say sentences like Snoop Dog.
- The Cat Translator claims it can translate your cat’s meows, but your cat has to meow first, which is not always an easy thing to get on command.
- The Pikachu Talk skill lets you ask Pikachu questions and have a one-on-one chat with the Pokémon character, with Alexa translating.
- Chewbacca Chat does the same thing as Pikachu Talk, except it replaces Pikachu with Chewbacca from Star Wars.
- Egg Facts gives an abundance of egg facts — more egg facts than you knew existed or will ever need to know.
- Make Me Smart keeps you updated on the latest world news, covering everything from pop culture to current events and the economy.
- Wondering if you can handle another one? Beer Goggles is a quirky skill that will ask you a series of questions to help you determine whether or not you can afford to have another one poured. Of course, it’s merely an entertaining Alexa skill, so do use your actual best judgement when deciding.
Humor
- “Alexa, surely you can’t be serious?”
- “Alexa, where is Chuck Norris?” The answer may shock you.
- “Alexa, tell me a ‘yo momma’ joke.”
- “Alexa, spell ‘ICUP.’” (She’s surprisingly modest.)
- “Alexa, do aliens exist?”
- “Alexa, is your refrigerator running?”
- “Alexa, what happens if you step on a Lego?”
- “Alexa, why is six afraid of seven?”
- “Alexa, do you believe in ghosts?”
- “Alexa, do you know the muffin man?”
Film and TV quotes
- “Alexa, I want the truth.”
- “Alexa, I am your father!”
- “Alexa, open the pod bay doors.”
- “Alexa, define rock, paper, scissors, lizard, Spock.”
- “Alexa, my name is Inigo Montoya!”
- “Alexa, your mother was a hamster!”
- “Alexa, what happens if you cross the streams?”
- “Alexa, are you Skynet?”
- “Alexa, tea. Earl Grey. Hot.”
- “Alexa, how do you know so much about swallows?”
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